Why Interviewing is Like Dating
What you’ll find in this blog:
- What happens in dating
- What happens in an interview
- When to take notice as an applicant
- Hope the date… err, interview… goes well
Interviewing is like dating. There. I said it. This is my personal theory, and I tell my clients this all the time.
People usually laugh. The idea that an incredibly professional situation (such as an interview) can be compared to a more intimate and personal situation (like dating) seems funny.
Hear me out on this one, though. I think you’ll see what I mean.
What happens in dating
When people are dating, they want to make the best impression. They dress up. They make the effort to engage with and get to know the other person. Everything is carefully presented. They might even hold back opinions or behaviors.
As the couple gets further down the line… three months… six months… we start to see some behaviors that may have previously been hidden reveal themselves. People are more comfortable, and the relationship starts to shift. With the right person, this is okay! If it’s the wrong match, it could cause a rift or even end the relationship.
What happens in an interview
The same thing happens in an interview. Both parties are trying to put their best foot forward. Everyone presents themselves as they hope to be seen. Recruiters want to attract top talent, and applicants want to be hired for the role.
We might see a recruiter downplay a micromanager boss or an applicant embellish contributions to a project. Either way, down the line, it’s likely that these things will unveil themselves as both parties settle into a more comfortable position.
When to take notice as an applicant
As an applicant, how can you apply some rules of dating in your interview process? It mostly comes down to appropriate conduct.
If your date is rude to the server at a restaurant, would you want to continue seeing them? Probably not. The same is true in an interview. If the person interviewing you, who will be your manager, is rude to the executive assistant or other employees, you probably don’t want that person to be your boss. They’ll likely be rude to you as an employee, too.
If your date is constantly late, rescheduling, and not considerate of your time, would you keep making plans with them? Not likely. The same goes for interviews. If you keep getting late meetings or rescheduled appointments, a lack of respect for your time will probably only get worse as an employee.
If your date is constantly distracted and on their phone without being able to give you the focus and attention to carry a conversation, you’d probably be done. Keep that in mind during your interview process. If the people interviewing you are always multitasking and unable to hold a conversation with you without constant interruption, it’s likely that employees are overworked and overwhelmed, or that person is simply not good at paying attention to what people are saying. Either way, that’s not an ideal fit.
On the flip side, you need to make your best first impression, too! So, if you’re rude to the receptionist at check in, constantly asking to reschedule, or on your phone during the conversation, those would be red flags for the hiring company.
You get the idea. Interviewing is like dating, and if you wouldn’t tolerate a specific behavior on a date, you shouldn’t tolerate it in an interview. Or, if you wouldn’t do something on a date, you should not do it in an interview.
Hope the date… errr, interview… goes well
Ideally, these types of things won’t happen during your interview. Keep in mind, the recruiter and manager are both trying to give you the best version of the role and of themselves. So, if something doesn’t feel right from the start, or there are blatant red flags, it won’t get better after the work honeymoon phase is over.
If things do go well, and you think you click with the role and the manager, it could end up being a good match!
Want help preparing for your next interview to make sure you make the best first impression? Connect with me and learn how I can help you prepare with sample questions, feedback and coaching on your practice answers.